Yew Might Be a Redneck…

2014-12-07 18.53.49We’ve spent two days here trying to get a respectable Christmas tree up. First came the fluffing of the branches: assembling my mom’s old artificial tree, with bits of greenery snapping off as we go along. We have a whole grocery bag full of detached fake spruce segments now. After that, it was pretty late last night when we were trying to string the lights. I said, “If we can just put the lights and the garland on, we’ll finish decorating tomorrow.” Michael was at a birthday party by this time, and David’s and my Christmas Spirit tank was on E. Plug in first set of lights: half-dead. Second set: ditto. We threw away three sets of lights.

Today, refreshed and renewed, we bought lights and all three of us gathered ’round. The lights and the garland are now on, but just as I pulled out the first package of balls, my son said, “But Dad! Shouldn’t we try to put it on the stand before we go any further, since the clamp broke?” Me, shrilly: “What? What clamp? What?” David, calmly: “No problem. I’m going to duct tape it.” And he proceeded to do just that, as you can see. Here’s hopin’.

However, decorating has come to a complete halt, since we carefully removed every hook from the decorations last year and sealed them neatly in a zip-lock bag. If you happen to see a zip-lock bag full of hooks, please let me know. We’ve searched all the way up to the attic, but my living room floor is still fully decorated with hookless ornaments.

Merry Christmas.

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2 Comments

Filed under Family, Life's Travails- Big and Small

2 responses to “Yew Might Be a Redneck…

  1. God love you, Cheryl. We have gone through a very similar fate this year. Somehow it’s SO much harder to deck the house out for Christmas once the kids have left (& no grandbabies on the horizon either, *AHEM!*) I made the mistake of buying that 9-foot tree I’d always wanted once we could afford one (& I found one on sale, that is!) but this did not happen til after the kids had both married & moved out, so now guess what? No young, eager hands to help this short woman decorate this mammoth tree! Thank God Tommy still gets a little enamored with decorating the tree or else we wouldn’t have one at all. This year, year #3 with said tree, barely half the lights worked & the magic “light set fixer” gadget we’d bought last year was NOWHERE to be found. After going to every store in town to buy another & finding they had none, we broke down & ordered one online, which of course, meant waiting several more days. At last it arrived, but then the real adventure began. This thingamajig WILL actually fix most light sets, & there’s a very educational video that explains how it does so, how the sets work, etc, but it seems our tree has not just end-to-end strings, but three-way as well, which only complicates things & is NOT covered in said educational video. We FINALLY got most all the lights burning after changing close to 100 of those blasted mini-bulbs & not just changing them, but having to unplug the glass part so it could be put into the specially-made bases that these tree lights require to work. O.O Talk about your frazzled homemaker-trying-to-decorate-for-Christmas…. !!!!!! I hope your stand holds. If not, well, don’t tell me til next year, okay?? LOL! Hugs & blessings to you & yours!!

    • Oh, Geannie! You must have ten times the patience I have! We did get the tree on the stand last night, hallelujah. Michael closes on his new house tomorrow, and then my house might start to look like mine again. Merry Christmas to all the Grays!

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